One of the things that always seems to be missing is the bridge between the two approaches. I’ve lived on both sides of the wall, and as long as there’s a wall, things fail. SharePoint is a collaboration platform, yet it’s amazing how infrequently I see people collaborating their way toward a solution.
So the key, to me, is to understand the portfolio of tools you have at your disposal and which is right for the task at hand. Don’t use a hammer to drive in a screw. There’s also a *lot* of middle, fuzzy ground where the right answer might be the one that is going to get you to a solution that works OK in a reasonable amount of time. So maybe you use DVWPs instead of custom Web Parts (or vice versa) from time to time. As long as you are actually solving a business requirement, everyone wins.
To paraphrase Rodney King, “Why can’t we all just get along?”